Cullen Skink

November 12, 2009

Ho Ho Ho Holy shit, it’s Christmas!

Filed under: Christmas, CullenSkink — Tags: — admin @ 1:53 am

If you associate Ho! Ho! Ho! with a trio of hookers in a Gangsta Rap movie, then, like me, you’re not cut-out for Christmas. If you think “It’s a wonderful life” should be the title of a Keith Floyd tribute video, then the Festive Season’s not your bag. Or should that be stocking?

And who can blame you? It’s rubbish isn’t it? Bogus, even.

The main thing is, why does it have to happen at such a crap time of the year? SAD creeping- in, cold, wind, rain, naebody can be arsed to go out, cos it’s pitch black. It’s a hopeless time to instil good will, amongst anyone. Admittedly, some of the girls in the office dress up nicely, wear skimpy party frocks, iron their hair and put a bit of lippy on, but why can’t they just do that all the time anyway?

And as for business? Hey Buddy, ferrrrgedd it! Transport infrastructures fold, people “aren’t doing anything until the New Year”, it’s Voicemail and e-mail ping city out there!

However, once again, I’ve come to the rescue with a brilliant Brierley business solution. One which is so good you’ll wonder how no-one has thought of it before. It’s particularly relevant with the “pitch or not to pitch” (yawn…………)argument once again rearing it’s ugly head. Because I’m actually advocating working for free!

Forget December. Yes, it’s a simple as that. All Industry should take existing overheads and decant them into only 11 months. Make December a “do what the fuck you want” month. Go away to Thailand, go skating or get gluewein-ed up at the German Market. More importantly, really try to re-establish the business discipline of incredibly long lunches, for the forthcoming 2010. Or if you’re the office creep, that nobody likes and you want to earn brownie points, you can still work like a bastard or trample all over your nicer and more human workmates, by coming in every day and doing all your timesheets. Bosses would love it. Office Monkies would love it.

It’s a win-win-win-win situation! Fantastic!

Because it’s not really there any more, for the whole month of December, if productivity was only, say 15% or you only sold enough in the month to cover your Pret a Manger lunch or pathetically managed to bill £50, for a bit of digital artwork, who would care? Technically, because it doesn’t exist, it would be a total result. You’d be turning up to free pitches, unpaid presentations or those waste-of-time meetings on December 12th with a spring in your step and a huge grin, slapping people’s backs and not even trying to disguise the fact that you had four cans of warm lager on the train though.

After all, December doesn’t really count at all, so to paraphrase the Special Air Service motto-”Who Cares Who Wins”?

Even those in low-level, office gopher positions can benefit from this new ‘non’-month. Piss-about all morning with that stupid new iPhone or ‘fudging’ your ridiculous hair, sit surfing itunes all day. Even nod your head to ‘Jedward’  at brain splitting full volume and make up as many spurious “Social Marketing” events (where you’re really going to the pub) as you like. Bring in really puerile games, like you used to do at end of school term. Operation, Buckaroo, Pop-up Pirates, Ker-Plunk.

Oh how we’d laugh! No-one would give a flying fig. So get started. Plan it for next year and we can all start living like human beings should be living. Love and Peace Man!

November 4, 2009

Bagging blethers

Filed under: Bagging Scotland, CullenSkink, Scotland the best — admin @ 10:41 pm

Bagging-Scotland planning continues and our ace designer Ramsay’s pulling-together a presentation for a number of potential ‘In Association With’ sponsors. Putting an exact ‘number’ on how much this jolly excellent opportunity is worth is a toughie because we’ve not got a ‘model’ to base it on. However, we’ve taken a researched and educated gues at…well, there’s no way I’m telling you here. Big thanks to my clever PR chum Pete Sigrist at Fishburn Hedges, who offered me some very good advice in this area. I rip the pish out of Mr Sigrist as he’s stupidly posh but he’s a clever chap and goes out of his way to help you. As he’s busy and as he offers this advice for nowt, I value him greatly and he’s a great geezer but I am too shy to tell him. Hope to hell he doesnae read this!

Today, I also met-up with the GMF Co people, who happen to be based in Glasgow’s Lighthouse. Fucking hypocrite that I am, I was in there today and managed to avoid the snipers. It was completely, utterly dead, so I stand by every comment I made in ‘that blog’ where a number of people suggested I “ken fuck-all aboot fuck-all”.

Anyway, in spite of biding in a ghost building, I really liked their style and think they’d be interesting to build relationships with because they’ve got a broad experience. They also seem to be up-for-the-cup. However, I was rather sparkled today, so probably came across like a manic loon.

As they work on the Tiree Wave Classic,  they ‘get’ islands, so we’ll see. I’d like to do something with them, anyway. I’ll call them and ask if they can help with sponsorship. I alluded to this but alluding to things is a bit daft. As from today, I’m being a LOT more direct!

November 1, 2009

The Baggin’-Waggon begins to live!

The Baggin' Wagon!

The Baggin'- Waggon!

There’s a company called Danbury Motor Caravans who actually make REAL ‘Baggin’ Waggons’. When we first thought about the best way to Bag Scotland, we were in broad agreement that an exceptionally cool VW ‘Combi’ would be the way to do it. Unfortunately, anyone who’s owned one will tell you that the reality of owning an original 1950’s/60’s one isn’t quite so ‘cool’. Most of them wheeze along on a tiny, air-cooled engine and overheat, break down and are about as reliable as that other 1960’s icon, George Best was.

So, when we found out that those clever people in Brasil still make ‘old school’ VW campervans, we had to find out more. Our journey led us to Danbury. They import them from Brasil, make them Right-Hand drive, underseal them (rust ain’t such a problem in balmy Brasil) and generally ‘pimp’ them up to a state of overall magnificence! You can have basically anything, so it you want to tailor one to make it suit your every demand, they can do it.

The’ve got modern engines, fridges, airbags, computer connections, flatscreens and the likes and you therefore can pose beside them basking in the glory, rather than peering through a plume of smoking engine oil.

The Baggin’ Waggon is much more than a bit of a pose. We’ve spoken at length with a number of the major ‘brands’ who use a vehicle to gain them a bit of ‘presence’ and from what we’ve ascertained, they’re a brilliant and very ‘real’ brand building tool. They work, in taking brands to audiences and engaging with them, which is exactly what Bagging-Scotland is all about.

It’s for this reason that by practising what we preach (Bagging-Scotland)we’ll quickly soon establish the Bagging concept. As it’s a ‘camper’ van, it’s also dual-purpose. By staying in the van, we’ll save on hotel bills and will be able to be really flexible, when visiting our Bagging-Members (and potential Bagging-Members). It makes real sense.

So, you can expect to see the Baggin’-Waggon sooner, rather than later. We quite like the look of the one above but it’ll be branded-up, so NOBODY will be able to miss it!

October 28, 2009

Scotland’s second age of enlightenment?

Filed under: Bagging Scotland, CullenSkink, Scotland the best — admin @ 1:08 am

There’s been loads of stuff on the box just now about the part that Scotland played in forming the modern world. It’s amazing really but in the fields of medicine, heavy industry and in inventing a lot of the modern’ building blocks’ of things we take for granted; television, bicycles, video, telephone,( there’s a massive list that a quick Google search will reveal) we’ve led the world.

It’s easy to eulogise about this and suggest we’re outrageously clever, ‘punch above our weight’ a nation of geniuses etc etc. This might be a tiny bit true but in reality, we were actually victims of circumstance, caught up in neccesity having to truly be ‘the mother of invention’. In essence, loads of factors came together-raw materials, money, a hugely increasing Global Marketplace-to give us no real opportunity but to throw lots of money in solving problems. Of course, there were clever people that capitalised on this but we’d created a ‘perfect storm’ for ideas generation, capitalisation, ‘research and development’ and finally, taking it to a massive market, which the British Empire had created.

It’s a bit different today but as a proud Scot, who’s striving to create my own wee success story, I think the opportunites are out there but it needs a lot more, if not perfect storms, lots of mini squalls, to make things happen. I’m beginning to have a bit of success in getting people to have some faith in my www.bagging-scotland.com project but one thing is clear, I’ve had the most ‘luck’, inspiration, guidance, knowledge transfer and faith when I’ve been meeting people, asking them things and gaining advice, sometimes from some really unlikely sources.

I’ve been really suspicious of ’self-help’ books but I HAVE found that there are a number of ‘mini Scottish squalls’ which have been created on the internet and I’ve really benefitted from them. Also, if there’s been ‘the opening of an envelope’ in Glasgow recently, I’ve gone along, met people and tried to help them and they’ve helped me!

This isn’t the beginning of a ‘my experiences’ load of old bollocks on my blog but it’s good to know that there are a number of people out there who will help you. You just need to do a very un-Scottish thing-and ask.

You don’t have to be particularly ‘enlightened’ to realise that in Scotland, we don’t make or invent things quite as much as we did 150 years ago. We also are not in the extremely fortunate position of having a f*ck-off, huge, Global marketplace that we erm…owned (I suppose feudalism, slavery and genocide help here, a bit) so we need to think differently. That thought process has to involve asking for help and ‘bouncing-off’ ideas. I think we’re undoubtedly a clever Nation but you’re living in a slightly deluded land of cloud cuckoo-ism if you don’t think the whole of South East Asia, USA and the Indian subcontinent feel exactly the same way about themselves.

So, some quite, self confidence but let’s get the creators of Scotland, in facts Scots of all kinds to become GREAT at meeting people, becausse that’s when the sparks start to fly!

July 7, 2009

Three Bags Full

Filed under: Castle Bagging, CullenSkink, Island Bagging, Whisky Bagging — admin @ 11:16 pm

Things are progressing nicely and apart from a short break to watch the surreal spectacle of MJ’s tribute concert, bagging has been moving forwards, swiftly! Jacko’s gig was way too serious but there was a tear or two shed in the house and even a hard-assed cynic must have been moved when his wee girl spoke (for the first time ever)

Anyway, Jacko’s gone to hopefully a better place and it’s time to save Scotland’s tourisn industry, single handed. Well…technically. there’s going to be a mighty possee, but you know what I mean. So, it’s ‘bagging’. We’ve got the heirarchy sorted out (with others to follow) so, it’s going to be exciting. Bagging’s been catching on, so the next drive is to big-up the ‘whisky’ and the ‘island’ side of things. I think our Islands are the greatest challenge because they’re diverse and owned by many and various bodies and peoples. That’s half the fun. If you know anyone who is head honcho on an Island in Scotland, get them to contact me!

June 25, 2009

Friday Frank

Filed under: CullenSkink, Music — admin @ 10:35 pm

Old Blue Eyes

By the time you read this it’ll be Friday and as I’m out and about today, here’s a link to the rather wonderful www.lastfm.com to the even more wonderful Frank Sinatra. People go on about Spotify for free sounds. Sure it’s good, but you’ve got to download it and with Last FM it’s like it can read your mind. It’s remarkable. If you’ve got a big bit of work to do, plug in and get Frank Sinatra Radio on in the background. Let the music take you there…man.

Bagging

Filed under: CullenSkink — admin @ 10:09 pm

We’re creating something new, and whilst the idea of munro bagging  is established Castle Bagging, and Whisky Bagging aren’t, We’ll be changing this. We’re undertaking a lot of research and we’ve been engaging with a number of tourism organisations, so please feel free to comment, if you think you can help us!

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